Shit That Drives Me Crazy

When you hear a noise outside that sounds like thunder, but it isn't thunder, cause you've checked the weather radar on two websites and your smart phone, but you keep hearing it and there's no one to ask what the hell it is.

Days like today when the AW is so freaking loud I can hear her over my lover Dave Grohl, who is screaming sweetly into my ear(s) via my IPod.  She is seriously harshing my mellow.  :/

When EH2 continues to text/email how much he loves me and wants me back all while he has been secretly married to HIS Ex for over 3 weeks.  Yeah, I REALLY hate that shit.  AND, when UrADouche thinks he can worm his way back into my life(bed).  And the fact that these two things are occuring at the same time.  I AM A PSYCHO MAGNET.

Throwing away food!  Which is why I avoid taking the Pooties (my kids) to the store with me.  They always con me into buying something they never eat which I refuse to toss until it is absolutely putrid and would kill roaches.

Whatever the FUCK that noise is from three blocks over that is (no lie) vibrating the Earth.  Seriously.  It sounds like someone is trying to blast their way to freaking China through the center of the planet.  I have heard this before and have even gone walking to investigate, but cannot find it.  When/if I do, if it is caused by humans, they will pay.

Stupid fucking viruses that ruin my first-in-a-long-time kid-free weekends.  *Sniff*

When soda goes flat after the first time you open it.  So you buy the little bottles cause the liters are toast after day one.  But, guess what?  The little bottles suck the next day, too, even when you put the cap back on so tight that fucking Conan the Barbarian would cry trying to get it open.

Stupid neighbors who are obviously conspiring against me by all watering their lawns during prime shower time every morning.  (Ok, the fact that we are all wasting water by pouring it on the grass irritates me to no end anyway and if I weren't renting in one of those neighborhoods with "rules" for godssake, I would NEVER water the lawn.....I would have the worst yard evah cause I think it's up to Mother Nature to take care of the freaking GRASS and, oh, yeah, I like to EAT.)  Listen, fuckwads, did you ever think that between the hours of 6 and 8 am people are walking their dogs, jogging, etc. and have to go AROUND your damned sprinklers messing up the sidewalks?!  And, also, I do not have enough water pressure to even get my hair completely wet, much less rinse the shampoo out.  Besides which, it takes twice as long to shower, so you fuckers are making me late for work.

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