Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I Hate Homework

I truly do.  It actually makes me violently angry.  Ok, so maybe it isn't the homework itself as much as my son's reluctance to actually do his homework.  And the little fits of rage he pitches.  Cause then I get even angrier, which makes me want to drink more vodka, which makes it really difficult for me to function at work, which might cause me to get fired, which might make ME have to go back to school, which means I would then have homework....and that's not happening.

Things I hate about homework:

a) Kids who won't DO their homework.

b) Kids who cry about/while doing their homework.

c) School boards that design a curriculum which causes a teacher to assign a 
    third grader three hours of homework.            

d) Little love notes in my son's planner from his teacher about no homework
    being turned in.  (I want to write her back that we were busy naked bonfire
    dancing, but I'm afraid she might get "the law" involved.)  PS.  I don't hate
    teachers, so please no emails!
e) That we can never find a freaking pencil anywhere in this house.  Oh, right, 
    cause we sent them all to school (along with a hundred other things that we
    now have none of).  So homework has to be done in pen.  By a third grader.
      So it looks like this:

(Well, this actually looks better in Blogland than in real life.  Surprisingly, my
son has pretty damned good handwriting for a left-handed third grade boy who
wishes the world revolved around Playstation games.)

After all this whining and complaining there is little time, if any, left to do homework so I write a cute little love note back to the teacher about how we'll do our best to complete the assignment tomorrow provided nothing untoward occurs.  Meaning it's time for his bath and my martini and anyways (ha) texting, etc., is going to be the downfall of the English language as we know it so who gives a rat's ass if my third-grader didn't finish copying definitions of his vocabulary words out of a dictionary that was published thirty years ago?!

See, all roads lead to vodka.  Seriously.  


  1. I too hate my son's homework! Why he has an hour of homework every night in 2nd grade I will never understand. I cannot wait for the day he can do his homework on his own so I don't have to fill up my big gulp cup with wine just to get through 60 minutes of math problems!

  2. This year I actually have to pay attention to their homework. Which makes me throw tantrums. Thank God for Two Buck Chuck!

  3. Hear, hear! Honestly, the way technology is going, if all my kids learn to spell is OMG, LMFAO, WTF, then I don't give a S-H-I-T. And as you well know, telling a single working mom to "spend more time" doing homework with their child will get a teacher's ass kicked.