Thursday, September 1, 2011

Glinda on Crack

One of my favorite lines from the Wizard of Oz is when Glinda the Good Witch of the North says to the Wicked Witch of the West, who is livid about her sister's shoes being glued to Dorothy's feet, "Be gone.  You have no power here."  And damned if old WWW doesn't do exactly as she is told.  Wait, what?!  GGW banished WWW and it took?  Just like that?

Ok, then, dammit.  That's my new mantra.  To be spewed gleefully upon all the energy vampires, time-stealers, clusterfuckers, whiners, criers, EH's (ex-husbands) and AW's (attention whores) who think they can ride on my cloud (and their little dogs, too).  "BE GONE.  YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE."  Period.  End of story.  No explanation necessary. 

So, I tested this theory on AW this morning.  Maybe I was still a little drunk from last night's martini or something.  Really, I'm not sure what possessed me.  But today when she did her little "drop the mouse 8 times to wake up the computer thing", I just yelled over the cubicle walls:  "Hey, who taught you that new trick?"  Followed a quick discussion of other ways to wake up your computer after a strong denial on my part that the sound of that noisy mouse thing bothers me (cause that's what she WANTS it to do).  And it worked.  She stopped doing it.  At least for today.

Now I am Glinda on crack.  F*cked up from the power rush of plowing through the unnecessary bullshit flung my way by people who attempt to take a bite of the glory that is me.

I am SO my own superhero. 

1 comment:

  1. You are totally a super hero! I would have just let her bang her mouse around and let the annoyance build up until I had a passive aggressive meltdown and stuck a post it note to her computer offering advice on how she could possibly make more noise with a cordless drill and rape whistle.

    Can't wait to see what else you write. Oh and I had a great grandma named Sadie from a little town too. Just not very many Sadies's such a great name.