Me: I'm only buying you for the kids' dinner.
Chicken: Sure, sure, I get it.
Me: So, you're going to behave, right?
Chicken: I swear on my life.
Flash forward to dinner time. I intentionally had a snack before I left work so I wouldn't be hungry when I fed this delightful trash to my kids. NO, I am going to work out while they devour this greasy, disgusting, comforting dinner (with Stouffers mac n cheese, natch).
Me: Just get on the plate and be quiet.
Chicken: Hey, I didn't even say anything. I'm just sitting here all crispy.
Me: Yeah, yeah, I can read your thought bubbles.
Chicken: Come on. You know you want to. One little bite won't hurt. Look!
Some of my delicious breading fell off. You can have that, right?
Chicken: Do it! Do it! You deserve something delicious. After all, you had
another annoying day at work, right? You're a hard-working Mama.
Look at all you do for everyone else.
Me: No, I'm going to be strong. I deserve to do something good for myself.
Chicken: But I am good for you. Good for your soul.
Me: DAMMIT. Shut up. DAMMIT.
Chicken: Oh, come on, honey, you know I love you. I'm just trying to help
you feel better. Just have a wing, then.
Me: Ok, just ONE bite and that's it.
Right. It never ends with just one bite, does it?
(Sidenote: I have had this same conversation with dudes, only about kissing.)
Yes, Fried Chicken is EVIL and Publix is apparently owned and operated by Satan. And now I have to work out twice as long so I can have my vodka!!!!